Dare to Lead

Being able to attend Dare to Lead@ was a mixture of useful, meaningful leadership examples and full of common sense. Based on the research of Ted Talk famous researcher, Brené Brown, I came away from the three-day course energised and ready to change how I turn up in leadership.

The main takeaways for me as a school leader were:

Clear is Kind, Unclear is unkind. Let’s unpack this a bit more. Speaking the truth feels like we are being unkind especially when sharing difficult information or giving feedback. In reality, ‘dancing around the truth is unkind’. When stating the truth, is vague or ambiguous it is often because we are trying to lessen the discomfort of ourselves, not the other person. 

The clearer expectations, processes and what ‘done’ looks like, the more productive and focussed teams will be. I really liked the phrase - Paint What done looks like. This is all about being as specific as possible with staff. It doesn’t mean we can’t add our own flair or have our own ideas. It’s about being clear about the reasons for what we do and using processes and structures to meet school wide goals.

It's no different when teaching students. The clearer the instructions, the more students will understand the task and what the expectations are, the more success they will have.

We can all remember that feeling of apprehension when you are heading into a courageous conversation. Dare to Lead@ talks about using tactical breathing to deal with our own emotion.

Here’s what to do:

• Inhale deeply through your nose expanding your stomach for a count of 4.

• Hold your breath for a count of 4.

• Slowly exhale all the air through your mouth for a count of 4.

• Hold an empty breath for a count of 4.

Mindfulness is another way to become aware of triggers so that we don’t project our own feelings onto someone else. It starts with being aware of our thoughts, feelings and bodily sensations when  leading others. We can learn to pay more attention to how we are feeling without judging those feelings. Acknowledging the sweaty palms, the racing heart, the butterflies in our tummies, without thinking there is a right or wrong way, takes away their power and they don’t become barriers to leading courageously.

Acknowledging when we are wrong, what support is needed, and my part in what this might look like are also important. It’s a great start to just ‘name’ the ‘elephant’ in the room. It's about being vulnerable and acknowledging that as a leader, I don’t have all the answers. I’m here to support and grow other leaders and to work with the collective team staff, students and whanau.

Armouring Up

We all put on Armour when we feel uncomfortable - Brené calls them Shame Shields. Moving Away - withdrawing, hiding, Moving forward seeking to appease and please and Moving against - trying to gain power over others. Rather than putting on our armour, she says be vulnerable, be brave, feel ok not to feel ok in a situation that requires a courageous conversation.

In a Nutshell

I enjoyed learning about being the best leader I know I can be.